I told you these would be sporadic

I haven't felt the need to procrastinate this much since I discovered MySpace and Facebook, but you know what, those don't do it for me anymore so I'm posting a bog, typo intentional, that no one's going to read. Except those of you I ping on MSN in about half an hour when I'm done.

Since my last post I've been up to approximately nothing whatsoever. Well, I've been up to usual London malarkey: getting drunk, going to gigs, all of that nonsense, but hardly anything at all. In fact, my day-to-day routine has become so formulaic and depressing that I really need to do something about my boring shambles of a life before I go insane. My friend said to me, "imagine flying into a rage," well I'd happily go outside and stab up the neighbourhood but I'm wearing pajamas and I want to at least look good when I'm arrested/shot to death.

By the way, internet police, just in case you should pre-empt some kind of columbine-like shooting, not to worry, I cried like a baby this one time I killed a fly on purpose.

So here's the beaten track that is my weekday. The day doesn't matter, it's always pretty much the same:

• Wake up between noon and 1pm. Feel hungover or tired, stumble to computer at my desk.
• Fumble at a deck of cigarettes. Put one in my mouth, light it. Mm, nicotine.
• Stick on some music. For the last few weeks it's generally been weird post punk that some kindly souls have uploaded to blogspot. Or iTunes. Definitely not Soulseek, because I'm not a thief, okay?
• Refresh facebook and myspace for five hours or so, half-heartedly typing up some articles inbetween (on a good day).
• Cool, it's the evening now. It's acceptable to get drunk. Gather change, stumble to shop, buy red stripe and pack of fags if necessary.
• Blur
• Sober again. Lie down and read and then pass out while some obscure garbage plays out on my Zune. I don't have an iPod because I gave it away to a guy who hates me now.
  

See what I mean? I need a real, proper, bonafide job. Where I HAVE to shower in the morning, or I'll get fired for stinking up the office / cash register. Where I HAVE to leave the house and soak up some vitamins from the sun. And interact with people where, instead of typing emoticons to express how you feel, you say words.

I'd at this point like to note that I'm not a pathetic recluse that suffers from zero human contact, I do go out, I have a girlfriend (who is great) and I'm not fat.

This is pretty boring right. Here's some more boring stuff.

THINGS WHAT I HAVE DONE LATELY

ONE! I saw that film The Golden Compass. My girlfriend absolutely INSISTED that I read the book before I see the film and, by jove, I'm glad I did. The pacing was really off and there was a bunch of stuff that was toned down a lot compared to the books, but it had bears that wore armour and cute animals and all that so it was kind of enjoyable. I'd see it again. They really ballsed up the ending though.

TWO! I've been trying to blag as many free press parties as possible but it's not going so great. I went along to a party at the Tate Modern for some collaboration between BT and a Spanish company. There were an awful lot of David Brents dancing around to forgettable electro spun on the decks by Bob Geldof's adopted alien baby Peaches Geldof. No, really, she's a fucking alien.

Free cocktails were abound, though, so a good evening was had. Ish.

Another one I went to recently was a Sony party in Shoreditch, at their new gaff The Colour Rooms. I think it's called the colour rooms because there are a lot of different colours, and they're in rooms. There were midgets dressed up as smurfs who were handing out free vodka (and enjoying some themselves, I think) as well as a bunch of media twats really high on cocaine who were simultaenously really boring and really repugnant. Fuck them.

There was a party on at Punk in Soho too but I didn't go to that because: a) I was going to see Babyshambles for free at Wembley Arena and b) that's it. But, uh, I should have gone at least for a bit. Who knew you could get away with charging four quid for a pint of Fosters in a plastic cup? Me, because I've been to 333. Don't go there. Ever.

THREE! Stealing drinks off peoples tables in pubs and clubs. Man, it's pretty easy to get drunk for free, even when you're broke! My girlfriend and I did this at Mother bar, the poncy shithole just above 333. It was full of absolute turds and reminded me of a night out in Harrow except it was really fucking hard to get home afterwards. I'm glad I pissed on the toilet seat there.

MUSIC WHAT I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO

Exploiting the Prophets - Kind of like if The Horrors raped Joy Division in a dark alley and Joy Division had a baby that was ignored for years and years and had to fend for itself and got into drugs and needed a bunch of therapy. Cool! They've got two albums out, Code of Coincidence and The Thaw. They're both cool but The Thaw is a lot less punky and avant garde. You can find them here.

Akron/Family - Love is Simple - My friend sent me a track by these guys a while ago and it was really twee and it made you cringe really hard because it was so happy but after I listened to it about thirty times I started to really like it. The album's more of the same, folk stuff about love but it's really nice.

Nas - Purple - My friend told me to listen to this song just now so I listened to it. It's pretty cool but I really can't deal with hearing about how all your niggaz are in the pen right now.

Blaine Reininger - Broken Fingers - Sounds like Bowie trapped in space. Makes me want to shoot myself in the head because it's real depressing but I like it so much I'd probably bleed rainbows.

According to my last.fm: I've been listening to a lot of Coil, which is funny because I've only got the album The Ape of Naples on my PC and I don't really dig it that much. Also I have Restless Day off Scatology which is a great track and I've had that on repeat for a few hours at a time 'cos I'm weird.

TO CONCLUDE